HELD
By Yael de Jong
The shock of the cold wears off. I look up in the rippling darkness, my hair floating around me. All is black, only the
moon shines on the surface above. I am calm. As I look at the bright disc his silhouette appears, framed in the halo of
light. I close my eyes and drift away. ******* ******* Send Comments to: Comments@shortstoryalley.com
The first sensation to intrude upon Anna as she slowly came to was the warmth of Rob’s chest. He had drawn her close to
him and the gentle rocking she felt was the rhythm of his walk. He was carrying her, his strong arms holding her easily.
Anna knew she should be worried about something, that something terrible had happened, but she could remember nothing.
A strange lassitude hovered around her, threatening to overwhelm her. She fought the lead in her veins and tried to
lift her hands to Rob’s face, but she could not.
“Shhh, Anna, go back to sleep. Please.”
He bent his head down to kiss her forehead, then looked resolutely ahead and carried on walking. Anna snuggled closer to him
and let sleep come. Dream became memory.
Anna pulled into the parking space in front of Rob’s building and listened to the last chorus of her favourite rock song
before turning the car off. She felt the nervous trembling in her stomach and noticed her hands were shaking as she
lifted them off the steering wheel.
“Tonight, I’ll tell him tonight,” she said firmly to her reflection in the rear-view mirror. “He’ll freak out, but he’ll
be cool with it, eventually. It’s going to be fine.” She looked down at her barely swollen belly and covered it
with her hand. “It has to be.”
Anna pulled herself together, grabbed the two shopping bags and her handbag from the passenger seat and got out of her
little car. She flicked her long black hair over her shoulder and strode purposefully to the door of the apartment block.
Even though it was only eight o’clock, the hallways were deserted. Anna stood for a moment before Rob’s door and took a
deep breath to calm herself. Timidly she knocked. There was no answer. She knocked again, braver this time. Still nothing.
“Damn! He must have gone out,” she thought, disappointed. Although they weren’t supposed to meet tonight, Anna had assumed
Rob would be home. She took the key from her bag, the one to be used “only in an emergency” and let herself in.
The apartment was dark.
“Rob, Hon? You here?”
No reply.
“Probably out with the guys. Double damn it!” she thought. Anna pushed the door closed behind her with her foot and
carried her bags into the dark kitchen, switching on the light with her elbow. She decided to get everything ready
for when he came back. She would wait for him for as long as it took. Anna carefully arranged the cold supper she had
brought on two plates and then opened the cupboard to get out their two wine glasses. With a bottle of wine and glasses
in one hand, she grabbed her handbag from the counter and walked around the corner into the apartment’s sitting room.
She dropped her handbag onto the floor and flicked the light switch.     
She stopped dead.
Rob’s usually neat apartment was in disarray. The couches had been moved around and beer cans littered the floor.
Three unfamiliar black sports bags lay against the far wall. Anna barely noticed them. Her eyes were riveted to the
hundreds of little white pills strewn all over the coffee table, along with rolls of unused coin bags from various
local banks.
“Anna?”
She whirled around. She had been too shocked by the sight of the pills to hear Rob enter the apartment.
“Rob? What’s going on? What’s all...?” she stammered.
“Anna, what are you doing here?” Rob demanded in a harsh tone that she had never heard him use before. He grabbed her arm.
“Ow! Rob, let go!”
“Quiet!” He dragged her to the bedroom and thrust her inside. “Stay in here and don’t make a sound!”
“Rob, what’s going on?”
“Please, Anna.” His scowl disappeared and was replaced by a desperately worried look. The next moment he was gone,
the door shutting quietly behind him.
Anna stared stupidly at the door and then down at the glasses and bottle still in her hands. Her confusion paralysed
her until she heard male voices in the sitting room. Quietly she put the bottle and glasses down on the bedside table
and crept towards the closed door. She pressed her ear against it, straining to hear.
“Right! I got the beers! Let’s finish this.” She recognised Matt’s voice, one of Rob’s friends.
She heard the squeak of leather couches as the two of them sat down and then the clatter of pills being moved around
on the table.
“I want this done now! We’re meeting Enrico in one hour,” said a third male voice, rough and deep, that Anna did not
recognize. She heard the sound of a beer can being opened. “What’ve you got in your fridge, Rob?”
“Oh? Stuff. Just help yourself,” Rob’s voice was tense.
Anna heard heavy footsteps moving towards the kitchen.
“What’s going on, Rob? You expecting someone?”
“What?” asked Rob.
The heavy footsteps came back into the room. “There are two plates set out in the kitchen, Rob,” Anna heard the rough
voice say. “Who are they for?”
“Umm... er, no one, I just thought maybe you guys were hungry.” Rob sounded strained.
“And what’s with the heart made of strawberries?” the rough voice asked. Anna gasped remembering how she had decorated
the plates for Rob.
“I bet you’ve got someone coming over,” the rough voice accused. “I’ve told you before about keeping this secret.
If someone finds out about this, I’ll...” the voice stopped and Anna strained to hear.
“What’s this?” the rough voice came again, but this time it was quieter. Anna could hear the deadly anger in it.
“Oh, that?” Rob’s voice shook. There was a pause. “That’s just my girlfriend’s bag. She left it here when she came over
last time.”
“Really? Only I don’t remember seeing it earlier”
“Maybe you missed it and ...”
“You know what I think? I think you’ve got your little whore stashed here, haven’t you?”
Anna sprang back from the door. She looked around desperately for somewhere to hide. The room was too small. The door
crashed open and a huge man loomed in the doorway. Anna backed away but her legs bumped against the bed and she fell
heavily on the mattress. The man strode across to her and grabbed her hair, dragging her to her feet.“No. No! I don’t!
There’s no one here.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Bill, please, I swear, there’s no one else here.”
“So you won’t mind if I look in there.”
“Bill!”
“Well, what do we have here?” he sneered.
The man threw her out of the bedroom and Anna tripped and went sprawling against one of the couches. She sank to the floor,
looking around for some escape.
Matt was sitting, mouth open, on the couch opposite her. The pills littered the table between them. Rob stood close
to the bedroom door, frozen in shock. He backed away and Anna got a good look at the man with the rough voice for
the first time.
He was huge, towering over everyone in the room. His over-muscled arms were covered in tattoos and his black t-shirt
stretched across his massive body. His stubbled head rose block-like from a thick neck, mouth parted in a silent snarl.
Most frighteningly, his ice-grey eyes stared at her without the slightest flicker of humanity in them.
Seconds ticked by.
“We have ourselves a little situation here,” growled Bill.
Rob shook off his fearful silence. “Please, Bill. This is Anna. She’s cool, man. She’s nothing to worry about.”
Anna nodded dumbly.
“You got someone else coming round later? Who else have you told?”
“I haven’t told anyone! Bill, listen, I didn’t know she was going to be here. I found her when we came in with the beers.
She wasn’t supposed to be here tonight!”
“I was just going to surprise Rob.” Anna found her voice at last, although it came out in a fearful whisper.
“I didn’t see anything.”
Bill looked at the pills. He looked over at the bags against the wall. “You’ve seen enough,” he said. He started
towards Anna.
Rob stepped in front of him. “Anna won’t say anything, I swear. Who’s she going to tell? It’ll be fine, I promise you.
Anna knows how to keep a secret, don’t you, Hon?”
Anna nodded desperately.
“Really? That’s just great.” Bill moved deceptively quickly for a man his size. He shoved Rob violently out of the way.
Rob was flung against the wall and sank down, stunned. Bill lunged and grabbed Anna’s arm, dragging her up to him.
“Matt, get the tranq!” he ordered.
“What? No! Bill, please!” Rob got up shakily and stumbled, trying to pull Anna away. Bill grabbed Rob’s hand and squeezed
hard, bringing the younger man to his knees. Anna heard the bones in Rob’s hand crack as they were ground together.
“Now, Matt!” Bill shouted.
Matt was galvanised into action. He opened the bag closest to him and took out a small bottle and a hypodermic needle.
He inserted the syringe into the bottle and measured out a dose.
Anna struggled against Bill’s grip, but couldn’t release herself. She tried to kick his shins, but he spun her around to face Matt, pulling her arm up her back. Anna screamed in pain and fear. Her arm was close to breaking. Matt advanced on her with the syringe.
“Please, Matt, Bill, don’t.” Rob begged, still immobilized. “She won’t say anything, I promise.” Tears stood in his eyes.
“Keep your mouth shut,” growled Bill.
Matt took hold of Anna’s arm and jabbed the needle in. “Sorry about this,” he muttered as he looked into her pleading eyes.
The room started spinning. Anna sank down to the floor, unconsciousness making everything black around her.
“This is what you’re going to do if you want to live through this,” she heard Bill say in the distance.
And then there was nothing.
With a gasp Anna opened her eyes. She started struggling weakly in Rob’s arms, trying to fight the drug still coursing
in her veins.
“Rob. Please. Rob.” Tears started streaming down her face.
He looked down at her with an agonised expression but did not stop.
“Rob, please. I love you. Please. Don’t do this,” she begged.
Rob clenched his jaw and carried on walking.
“The baby, Rob, don’t hurt our baby,”
Anna sobbed helplessly, unable to force her numb body to do anything. 
Rob stopped and stared at her in anguish. “Baby?” he asked. Suddenly he stumbled forward, pushed from behind, nearly
dropping Anna.
“Move!” Anna heard Bill’s harsh voice. She closed her eyes in despair, hope fading.
They came to a river and stopped halfway across a small footbridge. Rob laid her down carefully. Rough hands seized her.
She was rolled onto her front and her hands were bound behind her. Her legs were then tied together and chains were wrapped
around them. Anna rested her face on the wooden planks and wept. “Please don’t. Please don’t,” was all she could say,
over and over again.
Strong arms picked her up, holding her, not gently as Rob had done. The arms swung her round and then let go.
She flew, out into the river. The cold water cut into her like a knife as she sank into the depths.
I look up again. I want him to be the last thing I see. Just as the dark returns to claim me I see him
falling towards me. He crashes into the shining surface above, arms stretching towards me.
Around him a dark cloud grows, oozing from the hole in his heart. He reaches me and we sink down. Together.
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[Yael de Jong retains copyright to this story]
(email: ybarhams@gbsns.co.za)